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DATING AMONG MUSLIMS
young man and the actress Nahal Anber in Egypt
Teenagers are generally prevented from dating or going to parties. Meetings or dates between unmarried young men and women are supposed to take place only in the presence of a chaperon, usually a relative of the young man. Among some liberal or Westernized Muslims there is more contact between young men and women and some dating takes place. A young man who has fallen in love or who wishes to marry may tell his mother, who will make inquiries about the woman and her family. If his family are satisfied, they will approach the girl’s family with an offer of marriage.
The opening of shopping malls in the Muslim world has created opportunities for flirting and dating. In the United States conservative Muslim girls attend proms wearing pretty dresses and flowers with their head scarves. In respect to their religion and family wishes Muslim proms have no alcohol, dancing or boys. The Muslim girls celebrate prom together with other Muslim girls.
Although dating is discouraged it exist in unique forms. One young Kuwaiti mall rat told Reuters that he dates with girls but keeps his distance from them in public. “We will sit together when we get to the movie theater. There it is dark and no one can see us.” The boy then went on to say, “I only date them. I will never marry a Kuwaiti girl, They are too snobbish ad materialistic. I plan to marry an American girl.”
In Egypt, young men and women often don’t have much of a opportunity to hang out together and date as their counterparts in the West do There are often social occasions attended by teenagers young men and women interact in social occasions but this does not qualify as dating. The opening of the City Center shopping mall in Qatar created opportunities for flirting and dating.
Websites and Resources: Islam IslamOnline islamonline.net ; Institute for Social Policy and Understanding ispu.org; Islam.com islam.com ; Islamic City islamicity.com ; BBC article bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/islam ; University of Southern California Compendium of Muslim Texts web.archive.org ; Encyclopædia Britannica article on Islam britannica.com ; Islam at Project Gutenberg gutenberg.org ; Muslims: PBS Frontline documentary pbs.org frontline
Obstacles to Dating and Courtship in the Muslim World
Most young Muslims live sheltered lives, and are discouraged from mixing freely with the opposite sex and prevented from 'falling in love', which can lead to problems heartaches such a poor judgement, unsuitable partners and marriage outside one class, social group and religion.
Traditionally, any contact between girls and boys was prohibited or at least frowned up, partyly because of Islamic prohibitions but also local customs, and there was no dating or courtship to allow young people privacy to get to know each other. Traditionally, Muslim women began wearing a hijab (veil) when they reached puberty. This was when a girl was considered to have achieved womanhood and therefore was marriageable. It was not uncommon for her marriage to be arranged soon after.
In Muslim societies purity and chastity before marriage are considered imperative. One reason women veil themselves is so that they will not tempt men and maintain their chastity and honor and the honor of the men around them. There is minimal social interaction between men and women before marriage. If two young people are interested in each other, they make arrangements to meet through their parents. Often parents have their own agenda and reject the wishes of their children. In some cases the bride and groom are not even allowed to lay eyes on each other until after they have been married.
Arranged Marriages in the Muslim World
In the Muslim world, marriages have traditionally been and still are arranged by parents as a way of forming an important bond between families, not just the bride and groom, in such as way that both families preserve their family fortunes and help both families prosper financially, socially, and politically. Often the bonds are made within one’s kin group and has social, economic or with status advantages in mind.
Parents that arrange the marriages look for a good fit and compatibility between the bride and groom and their families. Love is not regarded as something that is necessary for a marriage to take place but rather is something that develops and grows after a couple is married. A women who is forced into a marriage by her male guardians that turns out to be unsuitable for her has the right to seek an annulment.
The marriages are usually worked out by parents but also may be arranged by other relatives, agents or matchmakers. The details of those worked out within families are often made by family women. It the old days, it was not uncommon for the bride and groom to meet for the first time on their wedding day.
See Separate Article: TYPES OF MARRIAGES IN THE ARAB-MUSLIM WORLD factsanddetails.com
Choosing a Suitable Muslim Partner
Bahraini woman in a traditional wedding dress
Muslims are encouraged to look for a spouse on the grounds of compatibility through piety, rather than for good looks, or wealth, or prestige. People from very diverse backgrounds can be very happy together if their understanding and practice of Islam is compatible.
Marriage is a means of allying two extended families; romantic attachments have little role to play. The husband and wife are primarily representatives of their respective families in a contractual arrangement, which is typically negotiated between two male heads of household. It is fundamentally the parents' responsibility to arrange marriages for their children, but older siblings may be actively involved if the parents die early or if they have been particularly successful in business or politics. The terms are worked out in detail and are noted, by law, at the local marriage registry. [Source: Library of Congress]
Mohja Kahf, author of "The Girl with the Tangerine Scarf", wrote in the Washington Post about finding a partner in conservative Saudi Arabia: “I chose whom to marry. Every Muslim girl in the conservative circle of my youth chose her husband. We just did it our way, a conservative Muslim way and we did it without this nonsensical Western custom of teenage dating. My friends Salma and Magda chose at 16 or 17: salma to marry boy-next-door Muhammad, with whom she grew up, and Magda to marry a doctor 20 years her senior who cam courting from half a world a way. Both sisters...are still vibrantly married and vibrantly Muslim. I held out until I was 18, making my parents beat back suitors at the door until I was good and ready. And here I am still married to the guy I finally let in the door...My cousin, on the other hand, broke off a marriage she contracted to — but did not consummate — at 16 and chose another man. Another childhood friend, Zeynab, chose four times and is looking for Mr. Fifth.”
When asked how one goes about finding a suitable practicing Muslim spouse, the late Dr. Mahmood Abu Saud, a well-known Islamic scholar, said: “Islamically speaking, both boys and girls are entitled to propose to the other sex. Thus, frequent gatherings of Muslims allow you to talk to whomever you feel like being your mate, one or more, take their addresses and write to them, invite them into your house and keep your parents informed of what you are doing. Attend youth conferences. Try to participate in discussions and lectures so as to expose yourself and become noticeable. You may also publish an advertisement in Islamic Horizon. [Source: “Sexuality in Islam” by Heba G. Kotb M.D., A dissertation presented to Maimonides University, 2004]
Shahid Athar, a well known Muslim American psychiatrist at the Islamic Center in Toledo, Ohio, said in 1992: “Stay in the community of practicing Muslims, doing things in the community in which you are known, and let your friends and family know that you are ready and available. Once you find one, let him/her know indirectly that you like him/her, preferably through your parents.
When asked if a Muslim can marry someone his parents disapprove of, Abu Said said: “Yes, as long as the marrying person is legally entitled to marriage. Shahid Athar said; Yes, however, one must find out why the parent(s) object to this marriage, as maybe they are right. Is the person you plan to marry an alcoholic, a drug dealer, a pimp? This is not a question of your or your parents' right but a question of your communications with your parents.
Mixing of Teenage Muslim Girls and Boys
When asked for his views on teenage Muslim boys and girls) talking socially, Dr. Abu Said said: “It is healthy for boys and girls to talk and socialize as long as they do that within the Islamic moral code: no obscenity, no touching, no secret appointments, etc. They should talk socially in order to know each other as ordained by God in Qur'an (Surah al-Hujrat). However, one must be careful about what this social talking leads to. [Source: “Sexuality in Islam” by Heba G. Kotb M.D., A dissertation presented to Maimonides University, 2004]
When boys and girls work together for doing good, they become friends. When they meet in public such as in conferences, youth camps and in study rooms and the like, they become friends. When boys and girls start meeting in hiding, or in secrecy without informing their guardians, when they start to touch each other's bodies, when they start a love affair, even without sleeping together, this is not an innocent friendship, and should he discouraged.
Shahid Athar said: “They should talk socially in order to know each other as ordained by God in the Qur'an (Surah al-Hujrat). However, one must be careful in what this social talking leads to. And here, there is a question to be posed: Is sex education about knowing the anatomy and physiology of the human body or about the act of sex or about reproduction and family life or about prevention of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy? Is giving sex education equivalent to permission in engaging in sex?
When asked if there was any harm in men and women sitting together in a lecture hall. Dr. Abu Said said:“There is no harm in men and women sitting together. They used to do so in the days of the Prophet, and the books of hadith are full of such instances. You are right in your observation, and it is for you and others of some moral courage and clean thoughts to stand up and DO JUST THAT: SIT TOGETHER.
Shahid Athar said: “Islam believes in separation of sexes in social gatherings unless people are mahram to each other (see Surah Ahzab and Surah Nur). This is natural, even in secular schools, that girls like to sit, walk or play with girls rather than boys. Unnecessary social mixing may lead to other wrongs. The Creator of the human body knows what is good for us and we don't.
When asked if girls or boys are allowed to talk about the opposite sex in a way that conveys a feeling, Dr. Abu Said said: “It is human to have feelings towards the other sex. But to talk about it is another matter that depends entirely on what sort of talk it is. Modesty is the key word in this context. One must be decent and modest. One must be clean in thought and deed. God knows what is in the hearts of His servants and the servants must be aware of His cognition. Shahid Athar said:“Yes, but be cautious not to give the wrong emotion. To play with someone's emotions is not right.
Bedouin Betrothal Customs
Traditionally, marriages among Bedouins have been between the closest relatives permitted by Muslim law. Cousin marriages are common, ideally between a man and his father’s brother’s daughter. Traditionally, a father’s brother’s son has first dibs on his female cousin, who has the right of refusal but needs permission of that son to marry anyone else. Although marriages to first cousins are desired, most marriages are between second and third cousins.
Marriages outside the extended family have traditionally been rare, unless a tribal alliances was established; and women were expected to be virgins when they were married. In a marriage it is important for the families to be of the same status. Having lots of children is considered a duty because the more members a tribe has the stronger it is. Polygamy is allowed but only rarely practiced. Generally, only older, wealth men with enough money to support multiple household can afford it.
Traditionally, women family members have acted as matchmakers; old brothers worked out the brideprice paid by the groom’s family and the details of the marriage contract; the bride and groom had to offer their consent; and escape routes had be worked out to save face if one of either the bride or groom backs out. If the marriage is between cousins the brideprice has traditionally been relatively small.
Among some tribes boys and girls are encouraged to explore their romantic feeling for one another at an early age, even 12. When other family members are working they can be alone in a tent. When it is cold the can hang out by a campfire. If a couple decides they want to marry the young man tells a friend and the friend asked the girl’s father for permission to marry. If approval is given, a tribal elder negotiated the bride price.
Dating in Pakistan
Unchaperoned conversation between young unmarried men and women is frowned upon. Saleem wrote in the Washington Post, “My parents never allowed me to date and generally frowned on any male friendships. Dating leads to intimacy which would be out of the question. In high school...a tight curfew ensured my good behavior.” At a party-oriented American university she said she remained true to her parents’ expectations and fended off date invitations by either pretended she was gay or saying she was busy.
Sarah B Haider wrote in Express Tribune, Even though the idea of dating and romantic relationships outside of marriage is considered culturally and religiously taboo in Pakistan, love has always found a way against all odds. From exchanging love letters to meeting after school or secretly talking over the phone, those in love have found one way or another to connect with each other.
An increasing number of young Pakistanis are surfing the Internet for prospective dates. Some even arrange meetings and go out on dates and get married. But if their parents find out they met over the Internet they are forced to call the whole thing off. One man told the Los Angeles Times he met a 32-year-old woman on the Internet, When he asked her, “When will you get married” She said, “Ask Allah.” He said, “When I found her trust in God, I found that she was a true girl.”The man was in London at the time and asked his brother to meet with her in Pakistan and convey his marriage proposal. They were married a few weeks later. See Dating Apps Below
“Shaadi Online” is a popular television show in which young person and their parents try to find the perfect mate, using the Internet. Some people use marriage websites to find dates rather than mates. In some cases sex meetings have been arranged over the Internet and secretly videotaped.
Single Muslim American Woman
eharmony picture of Arab couple dating in London
Tanaz Ahmed wrote in the Washington Post: As a single Muslim woman in my early 20s, I’ve yet to go on a date with a Muslim man. This stems from how most traditional Muslim parents, like mine, believe in a restricted code of conduct between men and women. Western dating norms are too relaxed for their standards. I come from a long line of arranged marriages. My parents met once before their wedding day, and I don’t think my grandmother even met my grandfather before marrying him when she was 16 years old. It’s been ingrained in me that I will either allow my parents to arrange a marriage for me; or marry someone they disapprove of and be ostracized because of it. [Source: Tanaz Ahmed, Washington Post, August 24, 2016]
Once I graduated from college and landed my first real job, my parents were ready for me to get hitched. So far, I have resisted. I hate the notion of an arranged marriage. My parents don’t look at the whole person; they look at a man’s biodata (a kind of résumé for marital candidates) that lists his education and genealogy, including his relatives’ career choices. So what if his aunt is a doctor? What about his personality? His habits? Does he leave his clothes strewn about or are his socks separated by color?
On the other hand, I also hate the idea of constantly butting heads with my family. There had to be alternatives. After some digging, I found that plenty of other children of immigrant parents want to date in a manner that combines their Western ways with their Muslim values. Which usually equals dating sites and apps geared toward Muslims.
Muslim Dating Apps
Even though their parents had arranged weddings, many young Muslims today want to make their own decisions regarding who they date and marry, while still respecting cultural and generational traditions. Many of them have turned to dating apps such as Salams, formerly Minder, which has about four million users according to the company.
Tanaz Ahmed wrote in the Washington Post: “Down for halal sex.”... I snorted and sank further underneath my cherry-red duvet...Glare on my phone, making it hard to view the man whose dating profile I’d stumbled on. This was a profile on Minder, a Muslim dating app that mimics Tinder but is aimed at helping Western Muslims find a spouse. The guy advertising for halal sex (whatever that entails) was an exception; most of the other profiles seemed pretty chaste. However, this preoccupation with what was “halal,” meaning is what is permissible in Islam, ran rampant not on the app and in my mind. I wouldn’t even be on Minder if it weren’t for my religious upbringing. [Source: Tanaz Ahmed, Washington Post, August 24, 2016]
First I tried Ishqr, a dating site specifically for millennial Muslims. Ishqr is anonymous. Users see one another listed through a username and questionnaire about their interests. Only people who connect with each other can see profile photos; and even then, photos are not required. Before this, I’d never used dating apps or sites. The only dates I’d ever been on were arranged by my friends, or with men who approached me on their own. It became clear that I wouldn’t be dating anyone on Ishqr or even perusing my options. It wasn’t because I was picky or because the men I encountered were awful. In fact, most of them were pleasant and respectful. Rather, it was the logistics. Created in 2013, the site is still in its toddler stage. There were very few people who lived in my city, much less my state. The chances of me physically meeting someone was close to zero.
There was one man who lived in my vicinity, but it sounded like he essentially wanted a Muslim woman to babysit his future children. I didn’t accept his offer to connect on the site, and he proceeded to send me a request to chat every day until I left the site. However, he wasn’t the one who persuaded me to leave the site; it was a boy who didn’t even say hello, but launched right into talking about our ages and asking me whether I’d be willing to move to his city, in a different country. He was straightforward and had an equally linear understanding of everything from politics to marriage. To him, all of America was racist, so there was no point in me living there.
Like Ishqr, Minder didn’t have many users near where I live. However, a lot of them lived near my parents. There was no anonymity on Minder, which made me nervous. Even though I joined these sites for my parents, I didn’t see them wholly approving of them either. In their eyes, online dating probably wouldn’t be halal. Within a few hours of me registering for the app, I found out I was talking to a distant family friend. After less than a day on the app, I deleted it.
Muzz, the Largest Muslim Dating App
Muzz is a Muslim dating app based in London and founded in 2011. According to Muzz, 500,000 couples have married after meeting on the dating app, which offers free and paid memberships. “The heart of the app is empowering young Muslims to find a partner in their own right, but doing it in a way that respects their faith, culture, traditions and family,” Shahzad Younas, the founder of Muzz, told the New York Times, He aims to “embrace the quirks around Muslim marriage,” he said, which includes a “sweet spot” of familial involvement. He noted that families serve as a vital support network for couples. [Source: Sadiba Hasan, New York Times, June 3, 2023]
According to the Muzz website: We are the leading Muslim dating and marriage app with over 10 million single Muslims looking for love. We’re not like the other dating apps. We made Muzz to help single Muslims find their perfect partner while respecting their religious beliefs. Say goodbye to boring biodata CV’s and pushy aunties! We bring together more than 500 happy Muslim couples every day.
Among Muzz’s features are: 1) Chat for Free — “It’s always FREE to see profiles, match, chat & marry on Muzz”’ 2) Voice and Video Profiles — “Show off your personality and stand out from the crowd by adding Voice & Video intros to your profile”; 3) Complete Privacy — “Keep your photos hidden and use a nickname to remain anonymous to friends and family”; 4) Selfie Verification — “With all profiles being verified using Selfie Verification, SMS confirmation, and location checks, you’re safe”; 5) Religious Filters — “Filter Muslims in your area by sect, ethnicity, how much they pray and much more”; 6) Chaperones — “You can even include a chaperone (known as a Wali) in your conversations for extra peace of mind.; and 7) Muzz Gold — Get married faster with Muzz Gold - allowing you to more precisely tailor your search and browse without limits
Muzz Group Matchmaking Event
Describing a Muzz matchmaking event, Sadiba Hasan wrote in the New York Times, “On a Thursday evening in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, about 250 Muslims gathered in a halal Italian restaurant for a singles dating event. Some of them shied away from cameras, citing privacy concerns, while others said they were afraid of appearing “desperate.” Prayer mats were set up in an outdoor dining tent for Maghreb, the fourth of five daily prayers for Muslims. Inside the restaurant, tables and chairs were cleared to make space for the mingling guests, and platters of hummus, chicken kebab wraps and Mediterranean salad were being served. [Source: Sadiba Hasan, New York Times, June 3, 2023]
When the Brooklyn event started at 7 p.m., there was a clear and nerves-filled divide at first: Women were talking with other women, and men were mingling with men. It was a curious sight for a straight singles dating event. At 7:30 p.m., Mr. Younas stood on top of a table in a corner and made a welcome announcement. Women had received a sheet of eight green stickers, and men had received a sheet of eight red stickers. To help make it easier for people to introduce themselves to others, he said, the stickers must be exchanged with people after a conversation — everyone’s goal is “to meet the one,” he said, adding “inshallah,” or God willing.
The encouragement worked, and the two groups began mixing. Some people came to only network and to meet other people of a similar faith and cultural background. Ali Fall, a 34-year-old financial consultant, said he had always dated non-Muslims, and his exes didn’t understand his religious beliefs and obligations. Coming into the event, he had no expectations. “I believe in destiny, everything is written,” Mr. Fall, who lives in Harlem, said. Others were looking for “the one.” What matters to Mohammad Binmahfouz, a 33-year-old global relations coordinator, is “respect and trust,” he said. “And she prays … and fasts.” Mr. Binmahfouz drove two and a half hours from Meriden, Conn., to attend the event.
Salmah Ahmed, 25, and Mohibbah Abdul-Ahmed, 27, two sisters from Hillside, N.J., said their parents were pressuring them to get married and tried to introduce them to potential suitors. “It’s annoying,” Ms. Abdul-Ahmed said with a laugh. “We want to look for the men we want,” she added. The sisters, who are both Ghanaian and nurses and at the even described above, each only had one red sticker on their name tags. “I feel like when I was walking through, people were looking through me to get to somebody else,” said Ms. Ahmed, who has experienced colorism within the Muslim community and who noted a lack of Black Muslims at the event. On the app, they both use the race filter, specifying that they are looking for other Black Muslims.
But the filters set on the app do not necessarily translate in person. Mr. Younas is aware of the difficulties of getting an even mix of races and ethnicities at in-person events, but he tries to appeal to all backgrounds. He said the event in Jersey City had a large population of African Muslims, while the event in Brooklyn was held in a predominantly Arab community and therefore attracted more Arabs.
Dating Apps in Indonesia
Lissa posted on Quora.com in 2023: Hookoo is a free online dating service. Rather than a real dating site, the site promotes itself as a social media site focusing on dating. In order to create an account, you need to provide your name, birthday, city, gender, and what you're looking for (you have three options: chat, date, or friendship). If you want to upload your photo later, you can skip it for now. [Source: Quora.com] · Some popular dating apps in Indonesia for foreigners include Tinder, Badoo, OkCupid, and Tantan. These apps are widely used by both locals and expats in Indonesia for meeting new people and potential romantic connections. Keep in mind that the popularity of dating apps can change over time, so it's a good idea to check for the most current information.
Nelsen Liu posted on Quora in 2017: In terms of user, Tinder is the online dating app with highest user base in Indonesia. I know many people who are using or used Tinder. They are not only looking for girlfriend specifically, but sometimes they are looking for friends, or even hookups. There are some cases that some people got married because of Tinder, got into relationship with a guy or girl from Tinder. And my friends (I am not going to generalize my answer as “Indonesians”) perceive that as normal. The other apps with lower user base is OkCupid. Some people also use Wavoo, Skout and Setipe.
Hema Varshini posted: Indonesian Cupid is a top Indonesian dating site connecting local singles with foreign singles. Indonesian cupid is the part of well reputed Cupid media, one of the largest dating services in the world. Badoo is another dating site that is often used by Indonesian singles. In this site free basic service is available after that accessing all the features of the site by using paid membership only. Tinder: It is the most popular dating app. If you want to find a girl in Jakarta, the best option is Asian Dating, where most girls find a romantic relationship with foreigners. Indonesian Friends Date is a 100% completely free dating site, if you want to meet singles from Indonesia it is the best dating site to meet. No credit card is required for accessing all the features of the site.
Iran Unveils State-approved Dating App to Promote Marriage
In 2021, Iran introduced a state-approved dating app to promote marriage called Hamadan. The BBC reported: Iran has unveiled a dating app that aims to facilitate lasting marriages in the Islamic Republic, where the divorce rate is rising and birth rate falling. Hamdam, meaning "companion" in Persian, was developed by a body that's part of the Islamic Propaganda Organisation. It claims to use artificial intelligence to find matches "only for bachelors seeking permanent marriage" and just one wife. Iran's cyber-police force said Hamdam would be the only legal dating app in the country[Source: BBC, July 13, 2021]
Dating apps are popular in Iran, but from now on only Hamdam will be legal.Iranian law also criminalises consensual sexual relationships outside marriage. According to Hamdam's website, users will have to verify their identity and undergo a psychological test before they start searching for a partner. When a match is found, the app "introduces the families together with the presence of service consultants", who will "accompany" the couple for four years after their marriage. The head of the Tebyan Cultural Institute, which developed Hamdam, said the app would create healthy families at a time when family values are under threat by the "Devil" and Iran's enemies.
According to statistics from the National Organisation for Civil Registration, some 307,300 marriages and 99,600 divorces were recorded in Iran between March and December 2020. In 2008, there was one divorce for every eight marriages. More than half of Iran's population is under the age of 35. But the government has warned that if no action is taken, it could become one of the world's oldest countries in the next three decades. In March 2021, Iran's parliament passed a bill mandating the government to offer financial incentives for marriage and couples having more than two children. It has yet to be approved by the Guardian Council. In 2020, authorities started limiting the provision of family planning services at state-run hospitals. Vasectomies are no longer available and contraceptives are only offered to women whose health might be at risk.
Dating Apps in Pakistan
Sarah B Haider wrote in an article titled “Swiping for Love”: In recent years, the internet and social media have made it much easier for Pakistani men and women to socialise, virtually or otherwise, streamlining a process that usually entailed many hurdles. The introduction of dating apps, however, resulted in an unprecedented change in urban Pakistan’s romantic landscape. Unlike social networks, listing oneself on a dating app carried the explicit message of ‘availability’. Soon enough, many Pakistanis started swiping their way to love without any qualms and the trend of using apps like Tinder, Muzmatch (specially designed for Muslims), and Bumble, among others, gradually caught on in the country’s bigger cities. [Source: Sarah B Haider, Express Tribune, September 21. 2020]
User experiences of dating apps reveal that people had both good and bad encounters. While some users surveyed said their interactions were predominantly negative and they would never use the apps again, others opined that dating apps served their purposes and opened a whole new world of options for them to explore.
The good: Faizan, a 20-year-old digital marketer from Karachi, said he uses Tinder and Bumble to connect with like-minded individuals of the opposite sex, hoping to find new friends he can hang out with without any strings attached. He said: “Even though the idea of casual dating is frowned upon in Pakistan, I am impressed by how these apps are now playing a massive part in connecting people. You do not have to go to the mall, the coffee place, or your educational institute to mingle with each other. Just swipe right and voila!” he said. Speaking about his interactions, Faizan said he went on a few dates and most of them turned out to be good experiences. “Interactions largely depends on who you meet; while some meetings evolved into good friendships, others served as a 'digital' one-night stand,” he said. “Only once, I met this woman who looked nothing like the picture, which was disappointing.”
The bad: Ramsha, a 32-year-old communications professional from Karachi, matched with a guy on Tinder in 2018. During their very first conversation, she made it clear she was looking for something meaningful and was not up for casual dating. “He assured me that he had the same relationship goals, which was a positive sign,” Ramsha told The Express Tribune. “At the time, he was based in another city for some professional training, so we talked online for three months to get to know each other better.”
When Ramsha’s Tinder match finally went to Karachi for vacation, they met a couple of times before they both decided to officially start dating. “We got along so well that we became almost inseparable! I introduced him to my friends, he introduced me to his siblings, so it gradually became more than just dating to a very normal, no-drama relationship. However, I being the finicky one still kept on asking if we were on the same page about this relationship and his responses always assured me that I had nothing to worry about,” she recalled.
Ramsha proposed to her Tinder match after a year of dating, in response to which he started coming up with excuses like ethnic differences and financial instability. “I got to know through an acquaintance that he was already engaged to someone else since 2017 and was only two-timing me and his fiancée." When she confronted him, he made fun of her for “being serious” on Tinder, admitting that he was virtually dating five more girls on different dating apps. "I think most Pakistani men are not serious about dating apps and only use it for fun. So, if someone is looking for a relationship, I suggest them to look for someone outside of the online world. I have now deleted the app and will never try it again.”
For the complete article from which the material here is derived see “Swiping for Love” newslab.tribune.com.pk
Image Sources: Wikimedia, Commons except dating Arab Couple, eharmony.co.uk
Text Sources: Internet Islamic History Sourcebook: sourcebooks.fordham.edu ; Arab News, Jeddah; “Islam, a Short History” by Karen Armstrong; “A History of the Arab Peoples” by Albert Hourani (Faber and Faber, 1991); “World Religions” edited by Geoffrey Parrinder (Facts on File Publications, New York); “Encyclopedia of the World’s Religions” edited by R.C. Zaehner (Barnes & Noble Books, 1959); Metropolitan Museum of Art, Encyclopedia.com, National Geographic, BBC, New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Smithsonian magazine, The Guardian, Al Jazeera, The New Yorker, Time, Newsweek, Reuters, Associated Press, AFP, Library of Congress and various books and other publications.
Last updated April 2024